My thought of the day is, “Let’s talk about sex.” So what is sex? Well I’m not going to give you Webster’s definition; I’m going to give you Jack’s definition. My definition of sex is, “A mindless screw!” Having sex is when two people get together and screw their brains out. There is no emotion just a feeling of relief. Sex is nothing more than a massage to the groin area.
Have you ever noticed that people will talk more freely about having sex than they will about making love. If a few single women get together and do a night on the town, what do they talk about? Having sex! If you get a group of single guys together and they do a night on the town, what do they talk about? Having sex!
I was at my 13 year old daughter’s awards ceremony the other night, by the way, she racked in on the awards, and I’m the proudest Daddy in the world. Anywho, I was standing outside the auditorium, waiting on my daughter to finish talking to her friends. So I’m standing there waiting, and on the other side of this wall, I can hear a group of young boys talking about having sex. As I listened more, yes I was eaves dropping, their ideas of having sex were dead on. I couldn’t believe they knew so much, yet so little.
Over the years I have had conversations with parents about having the birds and the bees talk with their children. We as parents, will have a talk with our children about sex, and it always seems to be the same phrases used, “Wait till you are married,” “You can get pregnant, or you can knock her up etc…” Have you ever noticed that when you tell a kid not to do something, that’s the first thing they do?
Well I was wondering, why we don’t tell our kids about making love, after all making love is work and it might make them wait awhile longer. Having sex and making love are two different things. Having sex is simple, you put it in and a few minutes later, you’re asleep or watching TV it’s easier than baking a cake and takes less time. That sounds like way too much fun to a teenage boy.
My son is just 11 years old, and has a girlfriend already. I had the talk with him about a year ago. In this talk I told him that there are two different things about love, when it comes to being with a woman. First of all there is sex, that is where two people lay down together and just do things to each other. No I did not go into a lot of detail, in fact it freaked me out on how much he already knew.
Then there is making love. I described it like this. To make love to a woman does not always involve having sex, for example you can look into your girlfriends eyes and make love to her, you can give her a flower and a note from your heart and that is another way of making love to her. You can hold her hand and let her feel the love radiate from your hand to hers, etc…
Well two nights ago my son had his 5th grade graduation, he now moves to middle school. We get to the place where the graduation ceremony is going to take place, no sooner had we parked and he was out the door. His girlfriend was standing on the sidewalk waiting for him. You might think he would just run over to her, but he didn’t, he went the other way, running across the parking lot.
I watched him run over to a big Magnolia tree, he stood there for a second looking up and the he reached up and picked a big Magnolia flower, he looked at it as if he had gotten the perfect one, he then smelled it, then took off running across the parking lot again to his girlfriend, with the flower behind his back. As he approached her he slowed down, walked up to her, pulling the flower from behind his back. He handed the flower to her. As she took the flower and began to smell it, he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a card that he had made himself, he handed it to her.
About the time she finished reading it, he reached into his other pocket and pulled out the biggest jawbreaker that I have ever seen, it was almost the size of a softball and it was on a stick. She kissed him on the cheek, and then they walked into the building. What impressed me the most was that he did this in front of all his friends, as well as the parents! I overheard one of the women say to her husband, “You need to go talk to that little boy and get some pointers.”
Later that night, on the drive home I asked my son, where he got the ideas from and why he did that in front everyone there? He said, “I don’t really know where I got the ideas from, it just felt like something I wanted to do for her,” and he really didn’t care what his classmates thought, as long as it made her feel special and happy. A few seconds later he said, “It felt good to make love to her Dad.” I am so proud of him.
He ran the risk of having all his friends make fun of what he did, but he did not care. He made love to her and never touched her body. Well I was waiting for his call yesterday, fearing that he was going to get bashed by all his friends. He did call me, right on time. At 3:35 pm he called up and said, “How’s it going Dad?” I said “Good, how did it go at school? Did the kids make fun of you?” He said, “Well at first my buddy’s did, but later when all the girls started telling me how sweet I was, they backed off, asking me all kinds of questions, like, “Do you have any more ideas, etc…”
I think that if we could all teach our kids about making love, then the world would be a better place to live. I saw something a while back that said, “Treat your woman like you would want another man to treat your Daughter.” Now that’s something to live by, but for now it’s…
Just a thought,